PART I
Plausible fairy tales
Laws that cause chaos
Oppression of nice, friendly Midwesterners
to expose, to imply, to impose, to deny
to order pizza on the Internet
Jazz rock, car phones, non-alcoholic beer
Glaring omissions in sacred texts
to become the thing you hated
to better define problems I waited
PART II
I sat silently for hours listening to the trial. It was a messy case. I was called in as an expert witness by the defense. When I was called up to the stand to address the courtroom before me I just offered an aphorism I heard recently - “Mother Earth just really, really needs some rest with no people on her.” I then abruptly abdicated my position and walked to the nearest bar where I ordered a French 75 and reclaimed my principles unnoticed.
